(i.e. how to
manipulateappeal to each type)
xNTP - play their curiosity
xNTJ - do something inefficiently (they will take over and do everything instead of you)
xSTP - a well-placed dare
xSFP - play prince charming/damsel in distress
xSTJ - play the naive student (give them something to preach you about)
xSFJ - a guilt trip
xNFJ - a chance to reform you (show them your traumatic childhood issues)
xNFP - make them feel you’re the only one who understands their uniqueness
Is it accurate? you tell me.
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I’m an INFP in a relationship with an ESFJ. My previous relationships were with an ENTP and an ENFJ. But my current love, showed me true love.
I never thought I would date an ESFJ, but I have to say, I am more than pleasantly surprised! We are very different in how we approach things but we share a great appreciation and understanding of letting the other one do things in a different way.
I have read that ESFJ’s can care too much about social accepted behavior, but my gal is not like that at all. This might be because she used to always be the odd one? She lets me be me and doesn’t care when I behave in a strange manner. Somehow she seems a tad envious that I genuinely don’t care, and that the friends I have are true friends. I am, on the other hand, intrigued by her awesome capability to make friends wherever she goes, and her spontaneity towards strangers.
Her S & J makes it that things are always taken care of; finances, appointments, you name it, she is on top of it. I really hate doing those ‘realistic’ and ‘practical’ chores, so she can take care of it, I am sooo grateful for it!! (example: Hun, you need to think about taking care of X before it is too late and you will have to pay extra!)
I, on the other hand, am more aware of social dynamics and warn her sometimes to think about things so she is better prepared for a situation. When I point it out, she is thankful of my input. (example: Your mom is going to ask you about X when you call, that question will annoy you, but she asks out of interest, how will you respond so that you are nice and make clear you do not want to talk about X today?)
We both dislike criticism and are very aware of how others are feeling, so we do not easily get into an argument with each other and take each other’s feelings and values into account. This is our common ground. It makes it that we both feel really appreciated, loved and free to express how we feel.
Although she makes friends quite easily (ESF), she does not have deep conversations with them, she only shares this part with me. Even though she has a lot of friends and goes out a lot (E) she is really appreciative of me and I sense and feel that I have a special place in her heart. This means a lot to me as an INFP because I only open up to someone when they are worthy of it, so if you hang out with a lot of people but only share that special part of you with me, then I know I am not just one among many. Her F makes it so that I feel bonded with her, she shares her thoughts and feelings with me.
We have a lot of common interests which make it easier to do things together (seeing that E’s always want to do things..). We both play music and like similar books and films and we have a lot of sports that we both do. This makes it so that she can bond better with me (bonding goes with ESFJ’s through activities). So even though we bond in different ways, we are both able in this duo to bond with each other.
Maybe if you do not have a lot of common interests in this combination (INFP & ESFJ) you might, after initial interest, grow apart because there will be a lack of bonding for the ESFJ.
There are some other downfalls as well. For instance; I like to talk about philosophy, ideas, social interaction etc. while she couldn’t care less. This makes me feel like she might never grasp the core of my being. Another downfall; she likes to take care of things, wants things to be done, wants to care for those she loves. This makes it that she can sometimes burden herself with worrying about MY chores, since I am somewhat carefree in that department…
She tries to let go of worrying too much about me, I actually think it is kind of cute, but it can be burdensome to her sometimes. I hope in time she will see that in the end I do always take care of the important things (last minute that is..).
Even though I sometimes feel like she will never fully ‘grasp’ my core, she does really know me, and wants me to share my thoughts. I am truly appreciated and loved, while so many types try to take advantage of my kindheartedness or are blind to my rich inner being! She does see the richness and is intrigued by the mystery even though she doesn’t comprehend it. She is moved by my deep love for her and never takes my kindheartedness for granted.
What is described as downfalls in our MBTI profiles actually plays out well for us. ESFJ’s tend to want reassurance and compliments, INFP’s tend to put loved one’s on a pedestal. So you want to hear you are cute and you look pretty? Others might find it annoying, but I will share all my positive thoughts of you, everyday, to let you know you are awesome!
We have a relationship with boundaries, respect and good communication. We are both well developed individuals and we share a lot of common interests. Which are benefactory to the health of our relationship. We both give each other room to be ourselves and help each other where our weaknesses are and this works so perfectly well. We have so much fun and laughter, we have so much love. I could not ask for anything better!
Love an INFP
ENTJ behavior is not set in stone. ENTJs are eternally open to (good) suggestions. If an ENTJ is doing something that upsets you but you don’t say anything, that’s on you! Say something and the ENTJ will probably adjust very quickly. ENTJs are also really good at compromises.True