Well thanks? :)
I agree that our type is affectionate to those we care about (and ice cold to those we don’t) I personally think I could be doing more in the world, helping more, being better at loving others and encouraging people and I am working so hard towards that…But maybe that’s a personal thing? I dunno.
I do giveaways every month on my business IG for those who like cute things, but I also feel as a business owner that the whole purpose of my business is to share my art, so I enjoy actually “sharing” it sometimes and not just selling pieces. I’ve had a lot of birthdays where I got great things and I like to spread the cheer that I have—mainly, because I know some people really need a little brightness. I like giving gifts or giveaways…. I dunno, maybe that’s an INFP thing….
I know how you feel, as a young person it took me years to control my empathy.
You can help though, you can do a lot of the things that you mentioned. In smaller ways maybe, but it is possible.
This world is a hard place to be in, but it’s our only place, and all we can do is try to make it better by improving ourselves and our actions towards our world and our fellow people.
The simple, often overused and under-thought quote by Gandhi rings true whenever I feel this way:
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
I don’t know what you mean by being less selfish, i’m confused by your wording, but I think all you can truly do in this life to remedy your empathy is to try and find a way to assist those that you want to help.
This can be in a really small way, that may seem insignificant at first like reaching out to someone close to you, or in a larger way like volunteering your time and effort to an organization you believe in.
I personally believe you have to turn all that pain and ache into something positive, something that is a driving force in you to make the world a better place every day. That’s how I live with myself. I know that many people are hurting, sad and really unhappy. That’s why I make it a personal mission to be kind to everyone and try my hardest to not let myself slip into self-pity or selfishness in general. (not saying It works all the time, of course it’s a work in progress)
When someone cuts in line in front of me or does something really rude, I try to backfire with controlling myself, and the most understanding way possible… some people see this as being weak, but honestly, it’s taking everything in a person to be strong enough not to freak out on people too. If I took that persons anger and didn’t diffuse it, it would affect me and I would carry it around and pass it off to someone else.
That’s just my take on humanity. I try to do my best to be calm, kind and considerate of others. Even whenever they do not in any way “Deserve” it. I take the benefit of the doubt in most situations that the person didn’t mean to be so cruel or terrible, or maybe having an absolute shit day, or maybe they have been through things I can’t imagine…
Or maybe they are just a jerk?! Who knows! but I’m not going to let myself be part of that mindset as much as I can possibly.With that being said…Some situations need someone to stand up and say something. And I think those are the times for action.There have been times where I have stepped out on a limb and defended people, yelled at abusive people and diffused highly volatile situations. I have even had an entire line of people at a grocery store applaud me whenever I stepped into an argument that a very rude man was having with an elderly woman.Brittany always jokes that “once Su gets involved it must be serious.” Because I am consistently telling her to “simmer down” when people offend. My point being, I am not incapable of conflict or confrontation, in fact I actually am good at involving myself when needed- most of the time or finding justified reason to even have a confrontation. It’s that I choose to calm myself and others by diffusing the situation as easily as I can. That’s just my method in working with other people and trying to understand and be patient.
Just my opinion on what I think you were getting through in that message. SORRY for the long winded speech! :X
Rousseau: “When under stress I thought of the books I had read and applied them to myself. I imagined I was one of the characters and soon found myself in made-up circumstances which were most agreeable to my inclinations.”
Saint-Exupery: “If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.”
Well I’ll answer this from my own personal standpoint - yes.
I have an extremely addictive personality. I don’t know if it is my functions, my typing, whatever….But I would be interested in knowing if anyone else has this issue…. Anyone?
Sorry I couldn’t find that post, I recently posted a photo set from Jane Eyre (2011) because of the dynamics of the two characters. Is that the one you were talking about?
I personally think a lot of INFPs are people that can absorb emotions, personalities and skills. A confident INFP can easily slip into different personalities and characters in social situations. This is where you get our commonly found “manipulative” nature. Some INFPs don’t let others get close to them, to see the true person they are. They tend to “mirror” the group they are in order to blend. We are known to be chameleons. INFPs are also artists and are inspired by strong emotions, personalities and experiences…So if you’re reading a book that effected you or a movie that swept you into a different world for 2 hours, it’s hard to shake that. And I think yes, you can subconsciously adapt to that… talk about hard to get back to reality! I mean, most people don’t understand how difficult a song is for people like us, I can listen to the same song and be in that mood for hours to days. a movie? twice as bad, a book? it could take a month to shake off a book.
Personally as a child I loved seeing movies and running outside to pretend and play myself into the storyline. I was always creating characters and changing my world around me. We are the ultimate imagination-based people. (It’s a gift and a curse, in this situation, more on the curse side sometimes)
You probably are one of those that just honestly absorbs things. Nothing wrong with that, it’s a very interesting trait to have. Other people may not understand it, but even as an adult, having strong experiences can be very difficult for me to process and explain to others, and sometimes I can find myself acting like the protagonist I just read or saw the movie of and not even knowing it.
The answer from my personal opinion is that this could be a common trait among those with our functions and type. Anyone else have similar experience with this?
Andersen: “If you looked down to the bottom of my soul, you would understand fully the source of my longing and - pity me.”