We got some requests to do a guide to dating INFPs, especially from our friends at TheINTJway and Brittany volunteered to take it on. Which is good, because I don’t know what it takes to date an NFP, being one. -Suzannah
Side note: Though I’ve found this to be applicable to INFP’s, this list is supposed to be somewhat humorous. And keep in mind that this is written by one person’s experiences and opinions. Everyone’s obviously different and I’m, by no mean, trying to stereotype anyone here :)
(This is in no particular order)
#1 You must understand that your INFP needs space sometimes. Back off and don’t pester them. If you’re an Extrovert like me, then you’ll get annoyed or confused by this need they have. But just remember, most likely your INFP will come back with a fresh mind and a new appreciation for the relationship. In this case, absence really does make the heart grow fonder!
#2 You have to accept your INFP’s creative side. You might not understand the method to their madness sometimes. That’s okay. Just be loving towards them and accepting. And in the end, you might be pleasantly surprised.
#3 You have to be able to talk sense into your INFP. Don’t be forceful in doing so. Despite their type, INFP’s can be very logical people. Though they don’t naturally go there when making decisions, they are readily accepting of a thought pattern that makes sense. All you have to do is show it to them. If you aren’t this person in the relationship, your INFP will float away with the passing clouds.
#4 You should be someone that catches their attention; someone unique, someone that thinks for themselves, someone different from the crowd. INFP’s love to figure people out. And even more than that, they love people who swim against the current. It’s also a good advantage to be a hard shell to crack/ have a tough exterior. If your INFP proves to be able to get under your skin (or at least thinks they have), they will feel all the more close to you.
#5 You MUST have patience (at least when it comes to emotional outbursts). To the NTJ’s especially, you need to know that INFP’s just cry sometimes about things that are unsolvable (or even ridiculous in the eyes of others). Usually the best thing to do is to ask “What can I do for you right now?” and you can figure out what to do from there. But don’t expect to solve the problem for them in this case. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just sit with them/ hold them as they release their emotions.
#6 Show your INFP respect, especially when it comes to their ideas/ thoughts! They are used to being tramped on, disregarded or ignored. Don’t be another one of those people! They will end up hating you if you’re constantly putting their ideas down. But if you show them the respect their ideas deserve, then they will love you forever and show you the same respect.
#7 Know your literature, people! INFP’s are poetic beings that live in an alternate reality than most. When you can know classical literature, poetry, art, etc. they will open up to you and, if your lucky, bring you into their dark, secret world for a while.
#8 Action! You must be a person of action. INFP’s come up with the greatest ideas, but they have a hard time putting their ideas into motion. If you are a person that can help them achieve their dreams, it will make an immense impact on your INFP.
#9 You should be dependable. INFP’s are in need of a foundation; someone who can support them in any crisis; large or small. In order to gain their trust, you must be able to stand by what you say you will do for them and DO IT.
#10 It’s always a plus to be physically affectionate. This doesn’t mean PDA so don’t worry INTJ’s. But doing little things around the house or in the car or sitting in a park alone, can make a huge difference. Especially if you aren’t a physically affectionate person to begin with, if you show them you care by stroking their hair/ putting your arm around them/ cuddling with them while watching a movie, they will feel special and loved.
#11 GIFTS! INFP’s are suckers for gifts. Though they definitely value mind over matter in relationships, INFP’s love pleasant surprises. Get dressed up and take them to a fancy restaurant or buy them roses and take them by their workplace or order that special edition book they’ve been wanting.
#12 Be the pursuer. INFP’s know what they want. But what they want changes every five minutes. They might decide they’re going to talk to you one minute and they’ll back off the next. You must be able to at least strike up a conversation with them and show them that you’re clearly interested for them to keep you in their mind.
#13 Don’t just be a passing fixation. Often, the lovely INFP’s get mesmerized by certain things and people. They will get obsessed and fall in love very easily. You should keep this in mind. Don’t take advantage of this! You should prove to them that you want things to last in your relationship with them.
#14 Don’t brag or over-exaggerate about yourself. It’s a turn off for INFP’s and they can see right through this façade. Bragging is a sign of self-consciousness. Even if you’re the richest smartest man in the world, if you want to date an INFP try to be humble. Be confident in who you are and just be yourself.