Everything? xD ok not really but it falls into the same trap most INFP portraits do. INFP = shy, sensitive, idealistic, insecure, struggling to fit in, coupled with several other traits that most introverts possess. Which is an over-simplistic, stereotypical profile of INFPs in my opinion. That’s not to say there aren’t INFPs out there who do fit those descriptions, it’s just that they shouldn’t be considered ‘defining’ characteristics of our type. I’ll try to explain to the best of my understanding, though I can’t claim to be an expert in Myers-Briggs/Jung :D
I’ve always believed Ni-dom and Fi-dom are the hardest to accurately identify out of all types. With Ni it’s sort of self-explanatory, because it’s the one that works in the background which makes it hard to discern whether one really uses it. Fi is the complete opposite—it works pretty straightforward but the problem is that its definition offers plenty of leeway in terms of understanding.
First of all, I’ll make it clear that I can see the logic behind most INFP descriptions. Being Fi-dom means we have this constant need to be true to ourselves and our values, which can be a trial in a world that requires conformity. We don’t even have the luxury that those ISFPs do: their Se-aux makes it easier for them to be in touch with the physical world. Ne allows us to see endless possibilities, and when used along with Fi, turns us into highly idealistic individuals, who want to see meaning in everything. So an INFP, struggling to fit in, would take a back seat for fear of appearing weird—it’s only when our values are trodden on that we launch into full attack mode. Perfectly reasonable, right? Even I would be tempted to agree with those assessments, were I not an INFP myself.
I resisted calling myself INFP for a long time, before coming to terms with it about two weeks ago. I used to identify as ISTP, and even now still think as far as online portraits go, ISTP fits me best. But that’s because those portraits tend to look at the whats, instead of delving into the hows and whys. Take me for example. I’m a very logic-driven person. I get a kick out of debating and playing the devil’s advocate, and tend to look at things impartially/deal with situations with the least amount of emotion possible. But that doesn’t make me Ti-dom. I can hear my Fi screaming “Use Te/Ti!” every time I approach a situation. That’s because I realized, from a very early age, that staying true to oneself and one’s values was like fighting an uphill battle. However, instead of trying to conform, or sulking in a corner because of my inability to fit in, I tried to develop my Te and force myself to use Ti (without knowing what they actually were of course). It was a taxing experience to say the least—I can’t imagine going through that again, but very rewarding in the end. I was able to use my Fi as much as I wanted, thanks to being seen as a role model student (being in leadership roles, maintaining good academic results, etc.). I thrived at being in the spotlight. I was never afraid to speak my mind, and had no problem insisting on doing things ‘my way’. While I knew it would make my life easier to just ‘go with the flow’, I always felt terrible whenever I actually did so. And I couldn’t stand it. What I felt about myself was a lot more important than what others felt about me.
And that’s what Fi is, essentially. I can’t, for the life of me, understand how having strong values means ‘sensitive, caring, loyal, helpful, gentle, harmonious, dislikes conflicts’ and other traits typically assigned to IxFP (ISFP portraits are pretty bad, too, but since I’m not one, I don’t care as much ;)). Nor does I get how it necessarily results in being ‘shy, soft, insecure, withdrawn’. Surely there must be many INFPs out there whose ideals aren’t the same as Princess Diana’s, who are feisty and self-assure and able to look at things impartially, who can take criticism and tackle problems head-on? Oh wait, I bet those people already type themselves as something else, like I used to do.
I have highlighted several places of this little article that I totally relate to and actually said “Hell yes!” in real life… For years I disowned my own type because I never related to the “profiles” Sure, I am shy in ways and I can be helpful and gentle….But no, that has nothing to do with who I am at all. I am a fireball and I take life by the f’ing horns and show it who’s boss. I try to approach situations with logic.
I thoroughly hate the misunderstanding of INFP. I hate going through the INFP tag on tumblr sometimes because I feel like it is a slew of the same thing over and over…But then I find these gems and I think “YES YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!!!” :D “TRUE INFP-DOM!” and I take a big breath and think “All is right in the world. Someone is speaking the truth.”
